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Hidup Mesti Terus!


Assalammualaikum,


Hari ini dah 23 hari berpantang tanpa baby di sisi. Mel rasa lebih sihat tapi masih ada rasa sengal-sengal masa berjalan dan angkat daripada baring. Mudahan lebih sihat seperti biasa dalam sedikit masa lagi.

Semalam Mel kemas-kemas baju-baju mengandung dan simpan di dalam bag. Bila la agaknya nak keluarkan bag itu lagi nanti? Mudahan nanti murah rezeki bila tiba masanya nanti. Apa-apa pun Mel kena sihat balik dan beri masa untuk stabilkan emosi.

9 bulan lepas sangat fokus dengan pregnancy. I was having a text-book pregnancy with Aqeel. Jaga permakanan, makan supplements, jaga kesihatan tapi apa kan daya, not all pregnancy is promised to bring home a healthy baby. No one ever told us that this kind of thing can happen. Stillbirth is the destroyer of dreams according to National Stillbirth Society.

Sepatutnya selepas pregnancy, busy dengan baby kan?

Tapi dengan keadaan sekarang, we need to go back our life before my pregnancy. How was that? I got pregnant 3 months after our marriage. Now it went back only the two of us. Apa-apa pun hidup mesti terus! Selepas maternity leave ni, busy dengan kerja di ofis dan nak cari hobby. Nak buat apa ya? Wanna continue my hobby of baking and cooking la. Sebab Mel tak pandai nak masak sangat lagi ;)

Ketiadaan baby angel Aqeel telah buat Mel extra manja dengan suami. Hubby ganti jadi my baby besar kot. Hehehe. Nasib baik hubby faham dan tak kisah nak layan isteri dia ni. Love u abang! I still have breakdowns now and then. It is normal kan? Ibu mana tak teringat dengan anak dia. The connection I have with Aqeel for the 9 months is so precious. Aqeel tetap baby sulung Mama dan Papa.

Oh ya, semalam Papa lawat Aqeel. 'Banglo' Aqeel nampak sangat cantik sebab Papa dah upah orang pasangkan kayu berlian dan semalam Papa shellac kayu berlian tu. Orang yang Papa upah tu pun dah tanamkan pokok renek di 'Banglo' Aqeel. Nama penuh dan tarikh Aqeel pergi pun dah ada di 'Banglo' itu. Abang Aqeel bin Abang Adha. Our Prince. Mama tak sabar nak lawat 'Banglo' Aqeel. Tunggu lepas Mama habis pantang ya sayang.

Apa-apa pun hidup mesti terus. Mama and Papa loves and misses u so much Aqeel.



Mama Aqeel


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6 comments:

  1. mel..reading this post made me teary-eyed...seriously, even though i dont know u that well masa DPA, but i can totally relate to ur story..i am a mother of 2 now..Harith was born 7 months before our DPA n Hannah the 2nd one was conceived just after DPA, she's 7 month old now....mel, life must go on n i admire ur spirit n strength...dont ever give up n trust me, Allah sentiasa bersama org yg sabar...Aqeel is waiting for u in heaven...:)

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  2. Thanks Kak Eda. InsyaAllah Mel akan terus tabah menghadapi semua ini bersama suami ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. speechless.. kmk actually pregnant, 37 weeks now. kmk nang ngekot perkembangan blog kitak since the first post. This is my second baby.

    Anyway, fyi, mak kmk dolok pun beranak stillbirth juak. Before kmk, mak kmk pregnen dgn twin. Tp doktor madah babies lemas dlm perut, time ya mak kmk buntin 8 bulan. Arwah twin dikubur sebelah kubor atok di Masjid Negeri Swak. A few months after that, mak kmk buntin ngn kmk gik :)...

    InsyaAllah, mun dah rezeki, kelak kitak akan makey lagik baju buntin ya.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks a lot Mbok Ema :) Hope your 2nd pregnancy goes well and mujo joros jak! Jangan lupa madah ngan kamek lepas kitak give birth kelak.

    Anyway, kasehnya mak kitak, twins agik ya. Mudahan kamek macam nya juak la, senang nak dapat lagi rezeki baby kelak. Thanks for following my blog k.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mel..kmk actually terkejut and nangis bila deha sms b.musa ptg ya...sbb kita duak baruk jak chat t/hari ya..sebenar2nya kmk ada rasa sikit guilty sbb sik terus nyuruh ktk g hospital..until now kmk rasa guilty tapi kmk x berani nak meluah..kmk ingatkan keadaan ktk masa ya mcm org lain juak..sakit2 biasa..afterall, kmk dirikpun dolok merasa sakit sulak pun sbb d induce..so, nang xda experience juak la..and second tok..kmk pun mok ceaser bila kmk dah due tapi belum juak beranak..sbb xmok jadi kedak irfan dolok..lmk glak overdue last2 kmk emergency ceaser sbb nya dah berak dlm perut..
    dgn kesah ktk tok..kmk still terasa sedihnya..sbb kita sama2 expect benda yg sama..after 9 mths dpt nimang baby..beza due pun x jauh..kmk dh imagine juak camne deha ada baby..ish..xmok nambah sedih ktk gik.cuma kmk nak mdh ktk kmk n b.musa sgt2 terasa..x tauk la kenak..sampe kmk duak decide not to post our baby picture dlm fb..takut ktk duak deha sedih..mybe ktk pun xda rasa apa2..cuma kmk jak yg rasa x best..tapi ktk dah 2 kali nanyak pic baby kmk nak..:-)..insyaAllah..kmk akan upload kelak..

    so, lastly kmk just nak mdh..sik byk ibu dpt dugaan sebesar ktk tok..hanya yang terpilih jak...and hikmahnya, your baby angel aqeel kinek tok sedang berdoa agar dipermudahkan ktk and Deha ke Syurga..amin..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks a lot Kak Yus. Kitak jangan la rasa macam ya. Semua tok memang sik dapat dielakkan sebab udah ditakdirkan dan ketentuan baby Aqeel hidup sengan ya ajak.

    Apa-apa pun doakan kamek duak Bg Deha dimurahkan rezeki untuk dapat rezeki baby agik klak insyaAllah ;)

    ReplyDelete

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